Eve Vaughn, Romance Author

Observations at the gym…
Thursday, February 28th, 2008
Filed under Uncategorized

Since January I’ve been trying to get in shape and go to the gym regularly and eat healthier. There are way too many health issues in my family and I want to nip it in the bud before I join the ranks of having medical issues as well. Anyway, here are some of my observations at the gym.

Why do people wait for the close up parking spot? Isn’t the point of going to the gym to get in shape. Why not walk the extra ten feet. Sheesh.

And to that one aerobics instructor who kept rolling her eyes because some of us couldn’t keep up with your complicated moves, F you. Not everyone will get the moves the first time. It takes practice but with your attitude you don’t have to worry about me messing up in your class again because I’m not coming back. It’s no wonder why your class is so small, because you’re a bitch.

And to the aerobics instructor who teaches cardio kickboxing thanks for your patience and encouragement. I will be back to your class. :-) Although I was quite surprised you were playing DMX during class and not the clean version. I wouldn’t have expected that of you. *g* It was funny hearing the f word every time I did a squat.

I hate those super intense people in class who seem to get off from adding power to every kick and grunting like they’re having sex. It makes me want to punch you in the face, especially when I can barely breath and it feels like my lungs are about to explode. I hate you all.

And to the guy who was kicking really high in the red shorts, dude, invest in a jock strap. I saw your balls.

I do not want a personal trainer so stop trying to ambush me when I walk out of aerobics class. Lady, don’t you see me sweating already. Do you want to kill me?

My breasts are too big for jumping jacks. (ouch)

To the little guy in the biker shorts with the leathery skin, no, I don’t want you so stop flexing in front of me, you’re what? 5 foot nothing? What the hell do you think you could do with me?

To that tall drink of water who looked like a young Denzel, Michael Jordan hybrid, I’m married, but if anything happens to the hubby, call me. ;-) ( Just kidding, I love my husband. Hey I’m married, not dead)

I can’t take spin class anymore because those bikes hurt my special area.

I am really out of shape. :-D

5 comments to “Observations at the gym…”

  1. Scott
      · February 29th, 2008 at 8:00 am · Link

    I shouldn’t have read this at work. I wanted to literally laugh out loud on a few of your observations.

  2. Karen Scott
      · February 29th, 2008 at 5:27 pm · Link

    That really made me laugh!

  3. Paz
      · March 2nd, 2008 at 8:59 am · Link

    It sucks to have a teacher who isn’t motivating or inspiring. I’ve had a some of those, unfortunately. Keep up the good work. ;-)


  4. Misa
      · March 4th, 2008 at 3:17 am · Link

    LOL, great observations. Best wishes in getting in shape and god bless you for going to the gym to do it. I’m going to have to work out in the privacy of my own home.

    I once had a gym instructor call me a bitch cause I had an hourglass figure (it was bellydancing class). She did it not once but twice. I was like, uh, thanks and don’t hate, but I didn’t go back to that particular class. It was embarrassing to have that attention called to my person in front of an entire class of people.

  5. harley
      · March 11th, 2008 at 5:57 pm · Link

    OH MY WORD!!! that is all sooooo true!!!i couldn’t stop laughing. to make it worse i
    am heading to the gym to run. i know i will have to keep myself from falling off the treadmill b/c i know i will start laughing all over again. you are soooooo right about the kick boxing class…take circut boxing and nearly fell out when the DMX came on and it too was not the clean version….needless to say i punched those bags super hard and on beat!! lol

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