Loving Day Blog Hop
Happy Loving Day!!! Today celebrates the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision in Loving vs. Virginia that struck down anti-miscegenation laws. We salute Mildred and Richard Loving who stood together in the face of adversity not because they wanted to make a statement, or piss people off but because they loved each other and wanted the right to be recognized as man and wife in the eyes of the law.
I owe so much to the Lovings. Because of their courageous journey, millions of people including myself, in the United States from many cultural backgrounds and ethnicities can be together without fear of persecution. Which brings me to the topic at hand: Loving in Color.
I don’t believe that love is colorblind. I don’t think there is such a thing. Let me tell you a little about my personal story which I hope bring it back full circle to this comment.
My first crush was a kid name Tom Kennedy in kindergarten. He was adorable, with his big brown eyes and gap-toothed grin and freckles all over his face. He reminded me of Elliot from ET, and I followed him around like a love sick puppy. It never occurred to me that it wrong for me to have these feelings. I was five years old but I was in love, that is until Tom decided to share his graham crackers with Melissa Whitfield instead of me. Crush terminated. But that set me on a long string of crushes, some White, some Black, some Latino, some Indian. As long as the guy was cute, it didn’t matter to me.
But as I got older, it’s when I started to hearing people say. “You shouldn’t like him because he’s not black.” or “People should stick to their own kind.” I was noticing racism more, and just how ignorant people could be. It scared me a bit and in my awkward adolescence, I never had the courage to tell a guy of another race that I liked him. Fast forward to senior year in high school. There was a kid named Ryan. Freshman, sophomore, and junior year, this kid bugged the hell out of me. He always teased me and just got under my skin. My friends said it was because he liked me. I didn’t think anything of it because he was so short and annoying.
Well, apparently the summer between junior and senior year, Ryan hit a growth spurt and the first day back at school he was tall and fine and my feelings for him changed. He still liked to tease me but it was different somehow, almost like he was giving me hints about something. My friends kept telling me that this guy liked me but because Ryan was white, I was too scared to tell him I liked him in fear that he’d reject me because of my skin color. Well, after the winter break the playful teasing stopped and Ryan had a new girlfriend. Tanisha. Yeah, Ryan was dating a black chick and I felt like a fool because I never had the courage to tell him I liked him. I’d missed out because I let other people get in my head and because I doubted myself.
That experience taught me an important life lesson: I would never let fear rule my heart again. If I faced rejection at least I wouldn’t have to wonder what if because that’s way worse than someone telling you no. Over the years I’ve kept my dating options open not limiting myself to race, religion or culture and I think my world view is richer for it.
Although race stopped being a factor for me in my dating choices it never escaped my notice if the guy was black or white or latino. I think our experiences, and backgrounds, race and how we we’re raised shape who we are as people, and to ignore race I think in essence you’re taking something away from that person. You can acknowledge race without it being the driving force of your relationships and that includes, friendships, work relationships and dating situations. I believe the key is embracing differences rather than ignoring them.
Today I’m married to my best friend. We’ve been together for almost thirteen years, married for nearly ten. We have a gorgeous little girl who stole my heart the minute I set eyes on her. Me and hubby argue like cats and dogs some times, but we love even harder. We’re just like every other couple who have our ups and downs, thankfully the ups outweigh the downs We have fun together, we laugh and cry together. And he may be white and I’m black, and our daughter biracial but we’re still a family not because love is colorblind but because love is Omnipotent.
Thanks for letting me share a little bit about myself today. Names in this blog have been changed to protect the privacy of those mentioned. For updated information on my books, life, and miscellaneous here are my links:
My latest release Whatever He Wants is available on Amazon. Check it out. If you like sexy tortured Alpha who need the loving hand of a good woman, click on the image to the right!!
And there’s more! I’m giving away a ten dollar Amazon gift card to a random lucky winner who posts a comment to this blog!!
Please follow this link to the next blog on the hop. Vallory Vance
Thank you for your terrific post and glimpse into your teens. Whatever He Wants looks like a must read. Thank you for participating in the blog hop.
emmasmom AT wi DOT rr DOT com
So his name wasn’t Ryan
I’m happy you were able to not make the Race of someone stop you from dating and or having feelings for them. Some people still can’t do that.
I to am so excited it is Loving Day. I think if this day would have happened sooner my mom would be married to my sister’s father but because it was not the have not seen each other since she was discharged from the Army. My mother told me growing up to love who you want to love and never hide it. I am thankful for her wisdom and takes it to heart when I am dating. Happy Loving Day to all.
Whatever He Wants sounds wonderful! Can’t wait to read the book! Thank you for the lovely post!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. My marriage would not have been possible, if not for the courage of this couple. They are true heroes.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I have enjoyed your writing so much and have appreciated connecting a bit on Face Book. The Loving Day Blog Hop was a great idea and I hope y’all do it again as it will bring new readers to all of you and perhaps grow the community too.
This is such a great idea for a giveaway hop! IR couples are beautiful and I honestly think they create the most beautiful babies!!
Thanks for the giveaway! I’m gonna keep hopping along!
mestith at gmail dot com
What a great idea in celebrating such an historical event! I loved Whatever He Wants and have already reread it twice and going to do so again this summer!
Eva, Thanks for sharing your story about your life. It’s great to see and hear from the people living the journey. It lets those who would be critical that your life is not different than theirs. The color of ones’ skin has no baring on how successful relationship will be. Love the one who makes you happy.
Thanks for the opportunity to learn a bit more about you.
belgre AT Comcast DOT net
Thank you for sharing this lovely story!
thanks for tell us a little more. of yourself. i just finished what ever he want. im glad they had a good ending. i know should not ask but is paul and simone going to get a book?
I think it’s wonderful that you learned to follow your heart and I really enjoyed your story. Thank you for sharing it with us!
I love your books!! The Loving story is so inspiring because it shouldn’t matter who you love it only matters that you are loved and that you are loving!! Thanks for sharing your talent and I am looking forward to reading Giovanni’s Redemption.
Thanks for sharing your story it took me back to when i was growing up . Although I’m not in a IR relationship now I dated who i wanted based on the connection to the guy regardless of color. Thinking about this day It brought to life how both my kids would have had to leave the state if they decided to mary their bf/gf I live in VA. and believe it or not I’m not far from Caroline County. I never realized Mildred loving was a Jeter from there and I am almost positive some of family members are my customers.When I read her back ground information looking at her picture it clicked exactly who they are.wow, small world. Now,I’m going to have to find out if I’m right.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us…
I think alot of people have felt the same way and doubted themselves as well because of all the chatter from others . It’s a shame that all of those same prejudices are alive and kicking in 2013 …
Way to use the internet to help people solve premlobs!
This is such a great hop! I have enjoyed reading many different stories about peoples’ lives and how they see this day.
I, too, have benefited from the Lovings story/struggle.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Hi! Great post! I love this hop! Its great to see so many on here! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Im sorry nothing came of you and ryan but im glad your happy now!! People make way to much a fuss on skin color. Its ridiculous. Its a color, were all the same. People are so simple minded and i feel sorry for them. IR couples are beautiful and i love it that, in our society, they dont give a damn about what others think. People should chase there happiness. People that put value on a skin color, doesnt deserve happiness. When i look at people, i dont see color. I see personalities, uniqueness, difference. And i love it! People who are racist need to quit. Grow up, open there eyes and embrace others. Our world would be terribly boring if we were all the same. I love that were all different. Thank you!