Loving Day Blog Hop
Happy Loving Day!!! Today celebrates the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision in Loving vs. Virginia that struck down anti-miscegenation laws. We salute Mildred and Richard Loving who stood together in the face of adversity not because they wanted to make a statement, or piss people off but because they loved each other and wanted the right to be recognized as man and wife in the eyes of the law.
I owe so much to the Lovings. Because of their courageous journey, millions of people including myself, in the United States from many cultural backgrounds and ethnicities can be together without fear of persecution. Which brings me to the topic at hand: Loving in Color.
I don’t believe that love is colorblind. I don’t think there is such a thing. Let me tell you a little about my personal story which I hope bring it back full circle to this comment.
My first crush was a kid name Tom Kennedy in kindergarten. He was adorable, with his big brown eyes and gap-toothed grin and freckles all over his face. He reminded me of Elliot from ET, and I followed him around like a love sick puppy. It never occurred to me that it wrong for me to have these feelings. I was five years old but I was in love, that is until Tom decided to share his graham crackers with Melissa Whitfield instead of me. Crush terminated. But that set me on a long string of crushes, some White, some Black, some Latino, some Indian. As long as the guy was cute, it didn’t matter to me.
But as I got older, it’s when I started to hearing people say. “You shouldn’t like him because he’s not black.” or “People should stick to their own kind.” I was noticing racism more, and just how ignorant people could be. It scared me a bit and in my awkward adolescence, I never had the courage to tell a guy of another race that I liked him. Fast forward to senior year in high school. There was a kid named Ryan. Freshman, sophomore, and junior year, this kid bugged the hell out of me. He always teased me and just got under my skin. My friends said it was because he liked me. I didn’t think anything of it because he was so short and annoying.
Well, apparently the summer between junior and senior year, Ryan hit a growth spurt and the first day back at school he was tall and fine and my feelings for him changed. He still liked to tease me but it was different somehow, almost like he was giving me hints about something. My friends kept telling me that this guy liked me but because Ryan was white, I was too scared to tell him I liked him in fear that he’d reject me because of my skin color. Well, after the winter break the playful teasing stopped and Ryan had a new girlfriend. Tanisha. Yeah, Ryan was dating a black chick and I felt like a fool because I never had the courage to tell him I liked him. I’d missed out because I let other people get in my head and because I doubted myself.
That experience taught me an important life lesson: I would never let fear rule my heart again. If I faced rejection at least I wouldn’t have to wonder what if because that’s way worse than someone telling you no. Over the years I’ve kept my dating options open not limiting myself to race, religion or culture and I think my world view is richer for it.
Although race stopped being a factor for me in my dating choices it never escaped my notice if the guy was black or white or latino. I think our experiences, and backgrounds, race and how we we’re raised shape who we are as people, and to ignore race I think in essence you’re taking something away from that person. You can acknowledge race without it being the driving force of your relationships and that includes, friendships, work relationships and dating situations. I believe the key is embracing differences rather than ignoring them.
Today I’m married to my best friend. We’ve been together for almost thirteen years, married for nearly ten. We have a gorgeous little girl who stole my heart the minute I set eyes on her. Me and hubby argue like cats and dogs some times, but we love even harder. We’re just like every other couple who have our ups and downs, thankfully the ups outweigh the downs We have fun together, we laugh and cry together. And he may be white and I’m black, and our daughter biracial but we’re still a family not because love is colorblind but because love is Omnipotent.
Thanks for letting me share a little bit about myself today. Names in this blog have been changed to protect the privacy of those mentioned. For updated information on my books, life, and miscellaneous here are my links:
My latest release Whatever He Wants is available on Amazon. Check it out. If you like sexy tortured Alpha who need the loving hand of a good woman, click on the image to the right!!
And there’s more! I’m giving away a ten dollar Amazon gift card to a random lucky winner who posts a comment to this blog!!
Please follow this link to the next blog on the hop. Vallory Vance